If I Perish, I Perish

 Do you ever find yourself thinking, I'll only do a certain thing if it has the outcome I want? I'll only do what God has put in my heart to do, if I know it will turn out well? I don't want to do it if people will misunderstand and judge me! I only want to do it if I can choose the outcome!

I found myself thinking thoughts like this awhile ago, and it shocked and humbled me. Because I should do what I do because God wants me to do it, regardless of what the outcome will be. I should be obedient to God no matter what happens. The outcome is irrelevant!

Thismorning I read Esther's words in my Bible. Esther had a difficult situation. Her people, the Jews, were going to be killed. She, the queen, was the only one who could do something about it. She could appeal to the king. The problem was that she was only allowed to go into the king's presence if she was called for. Otherwise she could be put to death. So to appeal to the king, she had to risk her life. To try and save all the Jew's lives, she had to forget about her own life. At first she said, I can't do that! But in the end she said "We'll fast for three days, and then I will go. And if I perish, I perish." She was willing to go to the king on behalf of her people, not knowing what the outcome would be. She didn't say, "I'll only go if I know the king will be happy to see me. I'll only go if there is a happy ending." She went because it was the right thing to do and what God had called her to do. It did have a good outcome and a happy ending.

But that is not always the case. Think of Jim Elliot, Nate Saint and the other guys who were missionaries to the Auca Indians. They did the same thing as Esther. They risked their lives to take the gospel to the Auca's. "If I perish, I perish." They had to obey God not knowing what the outcome would be. They were all killed. It was not the outcome they hoped for. But through their deaths, eventually that tribe was won! The mission was still accomplished, just not the way they had hoped.

Think of Joseph. He had integrity and did what was right when Potiphar's wife tried to get him to sin. And what was the outcome? Prison for at least two years! But eventually there was a good outcome.

Then there were the disciples. Jesus' death on the cross was not the outcome they expected! It seemed like a terrible ending. But through it a way was made for us to be saved!

What about you? Are you bitter because of an unexpected outcome? Are you willing to obey God and follow his plan for your life, no matter what happens? Are you like Esther, "If I perish, I perish?"