Lift Me Up

I will extol thee, O LORD; for thou hast lifted me up,…--Psalm 30:1

But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.—Psalm 3:3

As a mum, there have been many times my children have come to me to be picked up. Children usually love to be held in your arms. Even my seven year old with Down Syndrome still loves to be held. She will come to me with her hands up and say, “Cuddle?”

Sometimes we lift them up and carry them to keep them safe. To comfort them when they’re upset. To take them to a certain place. To carry them when they’re tired.

God is like a parent or adult who lifts up His children. David experienced this for himself. God raises us to a higher level. He picks us up and moves us to a different place. He comforts us.

He also can lift us up above ourselves—from being focused and preoccupied with ourselves. He lifts up our head so our eyes become focused on Him.  He lifts us up so we see things from a different perspective. He can lift our spirits when we are feeling down. He can carry us when we’re tired and weary. He can lift us above our circumstances.

Is your heart’s desire and prayer the same as Johnson Oatman Jr.? He wrote this hymn.

I’m pressing on the upward way,

New heights I’m gaining every day;

Still praying as I onward bound,

“Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

Lord, lift me up, and let me stand

By faith on Canaan’s tableland;

A higher plane than I have found,

Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.

My heart has no desire to stay

Where doubts arise and fears dismay;

Though some may dwell where these abound,

My prayer, my aim, is higher ground.

I want to live above the world,

Though Satan’s darts at me are hurled;

For faith has caught the joyful sound,

The song of saints on higher ground.

I want to scale the utmost height

And catch a gleam of glory bright;

But still I’ll pray till rest I’ve found,

“Lord, lead me on to higher ground.”

Our Go-To

 A go-to is defined as someone or something that is regularly or repeatedly chosen or employed for reliably good results or the best person, thing, or place for a particular purpose or need.

When I think of Psalm 71:3, I think of a go-to!

Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort:

"Habitation" means dwelling place.

"Resort" means to go especially frequently or habitually. (Although whenever I hear the word I think of a holiday resort on a tropical island where you go to get away from everything. God is also a resort that we can run to for rest!)

In this world, it is so easy to get discouraged and depressed. Especially if we keep up with what's happening. Or it can be our own life stresses and challenges that get us down. 

I am learning to remember this verse and go to God in those moments. If possible, I stop for a few minutes, open my Bible or Daily Light, pray, pick up a devotional or anything spiritually uplifting. If I can't take the time out to do that, I can always silently pray and think about a Bible verse. God is waiting there for me and He'll give me some encouragement. 

But it comes more natural to pick up my phone again and scroll. Or I endlessly worry and stress in my mind. But that is the wrong go-to! That is the way downhill to more stress and discouragement.

God is our Go-to! Are you going to your Go-to?

My "Go to" Verses, Monks and Nuns etc.

In this video I share two of my "Go to" verses, a few simple living tips to keep from overwhelm, two parenting tips, a resource for children, a helpful movie, a new playlist, and a recipe.

Lemon Loaf 

(Double if you want 2 Loaves)
100g melted butter
2 eggs
2tblsp grated lemon rind

2tblsp lemon juice
13/4 cups white flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup sugar
11/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup milk
 

Syrup for on top
1/4 cup lemon juice and 1/4 cup white sugar

Grease or line loaf tin. Preheat oven to 180C. Beat eggs and butter. Add lemon rind, lemon juice and sugar and beat until creamy. Sift in the flour, baking powder and salt and mix in with milk until combined. Pour into loaf tin and bake 45-55 minutes or until cooked. Mix together syrup ingredients. When loaf is cooked, take straight from the oven and while still hot pour the syrup over. Cool in the tin.

A character building story a little bit different this time. It is not just audio. I am reading it to my children with some of it acted out!

"I Don't Know About Tomorrow" Song

 

Which Backpack are You Carrying?

 Two people went on a hike. They both had backpacks. The girl had a small backpack with essentials. The boy had a large backpack with everything they might possibly need. Talk about being prepared! The only problem was he could hardly lift his! Having to lug this heavy pack around slowed them down. The girl told him to leave it, but there was no way he would. Later on there was an accident and he fell off a cliff into the lake below. The girl looked down and all she could see was a big backpack floating in the water. The heavy weight was keeping the boy under. She dove in, pack and all, and was able to get his head above water and pull him to land. In the end, he finally let go of all those things they might need!

I heard this story recently, and while I doubt it's true, I think it's a perfect object lesson. I can't get the picture of that heavy backpack out of my mind---slowing them down on the track and holding the boy under the water. And the fact that it was the person with the small backpack that could help someone else. The person with the big pack could hardly take care of himself! There are lessons we can learn from this, both spiritual and practical. 

1)First, the practical.

Stuff can be a heavy weight. It's possible to drown and be overwhelmed by stuff. Like that boy, we can hang on to everything we might need in the future. It's hard to let things go that we might need one day. But if we don't, we have to care for it, clean it, organize it, store it and let it fill up our space. Instead of being free to help others, we are too busy trying to take care of all our stuff. But oh, the relief we feel when we let it go! It is like a big heavy pack dropping off our back down to the cliff below. While it's hard and painful to let go and trust God for the future, it's also hard to have that heavy burden to lug around. Like the girl with the small backpack, there are things we need. We can't live with nothing. But there is a limit to how much we need. We can choose between a heavy pack or a light pack. We aren't all the same and we all have different capacities for how much we can manage. The girl also needed help in the story at times, but not because of the pack she was carrying. We all need help sometimes (and some heavy burdens we carry are not our choice), but the help we need shouldn't be self-inflicted!

2)Now, the spiritual. 

Hebrews 12:1-2 says,...let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Looking unto Jesus...

The Christian life is like a race or a hike. We need to travel light! There are many things that can weigh us down and make our growth much more slow than necessary. 

Unbelief and wanting to see before we will trust
Fear, worry and all the what ifs

Covetousness, greed and attachment to things

Envy and jealousy

Sin and guilt from the past (if it's been dealt with and forgiven, it doesn't need to be a weight)

Pride and the fear of what people will think

Friends that are a negative influence

Impatience

etc.

What is hindering your spiritual growth? What is stopping you from taking the next step? What are you not willing to give up?

Here are some things that should be in your backpack!

Faith, Prayer, Contentment, Thankfulness, Patience, Love for God and others, Humility, Peace, Trust, Joy, Self control, Perseverance etc.

The Bible also says in Psalm 55:22 Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Are you bringing all the things that burden you to the Lord in prayer?

O what peace we often forfeit,

O what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer!

What We've Been Doing, Simple Living Tips, Fun Recipes etc.

 

Today I share a bit about our week with renovations, birthdays, cooking and fun at parks. I share the easiest chocolate cake recipe, a fun dessert to make, three simple living tips/thoughts, a simple chicken soup recipe and some lessons learned from dead ants, Lydia and dogs!

Easy Chocolate Cake Recipe  here
Chicken and Corn Soup Recipe here

New Every Morning--put to music

I wanted to memorize this poem that I shared last week. But as always I memorize things best when there's a tune!

 

Perfect Peace

This is a verse I've been thinking on today.

It is a promise with conditions. What a promise! To be kept in perfect peace.

The conditions are to keep our minds on God and to trust in Him.

It's not natural to keep our minds on God. It comes more natural to have our mind on our problems and everything that's going on around us. It can seem a bother to make an effort to spend time with God through His Word and prayer. It can seem unnecessary to make the effort to meditate on verses.  And yet we do ourselves a BIG favor when we do! 

There is a verse in Psalms that comes back to me every now and again. It is "Return unto thy rest, O my soul;..." Psalm 116:7 It reminds me to stay close to God, because that is where our peace and rest is found. We also need to trust God. He's got everything under control. Nothing is too hard for Him. He is good and faithful.

 

Hope from the Past for the Future

Our whole world is going through a crisis at the moment. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has had a mixture of fears, insecurity and doubts.
But God's Word is what keeps giving me hope and peace. I've been thinking about some of the crises in the Bible.

*The Israelites trapped at the Red Sea with the Egyptians chasing after them. What happened? God opened up the Red Sea for them and drowned all their enemies.
*The Israelites with no food and water in the desert. God rained down food from heaven and made water come pouring out of a rock.
*The Israelites at the Jordan River. God made a path through the river so they could cross on dry ground.
*The Israelites at Jericho. The walls fall down flat when the Israelites marched around.
*The Israelites and the giant Goliath. God used a little shepherd boy to kill him with a stone and slingshot.
*What about the widow whose sons were going to be taken because of their debt? God made it so her jar of oil was enough to fill a whole lot of jars, which she was able to sell and pay off their debt.

These are a few of the many crises in the Bible. They all have something in common. God's solution to the crisis is not logical or what we would expect! Who ever heard of walls falling down when you march around them? Who would pick a little boy with a stone and a slingshot to fight a battle with a giant? Who would expect food to fall out of the sky?

These stories remind me that God's ways are so much higher than ours and there is no situation too difficult for Him. It's nothing for Him to rain food from Heaven or to provide water in a desert. No giant is too big or too strong for Him. He can use us no matter how incapable we are. He can provide for us in any way He chooses. No crisis is too big for Him.

When we can't see the solution to a problem or the future seems dark, it's very easy to doubt. But the stories of what God has done in the past can give us faith and hope for the future.

He is Faithful

It's easy to trust God's promises when everything goes well. But it takes faith to trust in a crisis. God's promises are there for the hard times, just as an anchor is there for the storm. To realize the worth of the anchor, you need to feel the storm.

Trust Your Driver

A long time ago, I rolled my car on the road I was most familiar with! The country road that led to my parent's home where I was living. I drove up and down that road nearly every day and was probably over confident. One night, in an instance, my car was written off, although I escaped with only a headache!
However, all these years later, I have anxiety problems when I am a passenger driving down country roads. I am so jumpy, there are times I simply have to shut my eyes or look out the side window to avoid telling my husband when there are corners etc! It doesn't actually help for me to be so jumpy, it just makes the trip more stressful!
Oddly, I feel safer when I'm driving.(At least up until I had problems with being dizzy!) Somehow I feel in control even though it was me who rolled my car, and not my husband. Strange!
In life's journey, I sometimes have the same problem! To relax and just trust my Driver to get me where I should go is not always easy. I want to be in control. I want to choose which roads I take and carefully avoid any windy, steep ones! I want to choose how fast,  how slow, and how long my journey should be.
In the last four years, there are many things that have happened in my life that have been totally out of my control. I've been reminded that I'm not in control anyway and that I just need to keep giving things back over to God and let Him be the Driver. He's the only One who knows the way. Although He may take me down rough, bumpy roads I wouldn't choose, they are necessary. His way is always best! If I let God drive, He won't crash! (Even though life may feel like a wreck sometimes.) He will get me safely HOME.
"As for God, his way is perfect:"
Psalm 18:36

Peace in the Midst of the Storm

(I don't like sharing personal stories like this, but it's hard to share the lesson without the story)
The last few months I have had troubles with low iron and blood pressure. Just when I've thought that it was all better, it would come back again. I have gone to the doctor many times, and this week they  gave me an iron transfusion. The last few days, I have had chest pain aswell. I got it checked just to be safe and it was nothing to worry about. I don't know about you, but not feeling right has a way of making me nervous! Very nervous!
I really hope I will feel my normal self again soon and not have dizzy spells etc. And hopefully I will.  But I realized in my fearful moments, that what I really want is to have peace and to feel God's nearness and presence. To not feel afraid. 
That is what really matters. We can't always take away our problems, and God doesn't always take them away for us. But no matter what happens, we can have peace. Even if He doesn't calm the storm, He can calm us.
Notice what Psalm 46:1-3 says

God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble.

Therefore will we not fear, 

though the earth be removed,

 and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea.

Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, 

though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.

God can give you peace even if your circumstances do not change. What matters most is that you are in His presence.

The Antidote to Anxiety

I like this paraphrase of Philippians 4:6-7. I forget these verses so quickly. I pray about some things, but not everything. Not everything that makes me worried or burdened in some way. There are so many things that can weigh us down, whether it's our own concerns or the problems of other people we know. There are big things that are overwhelming and little things that seem so insignificant. Yet, the little things can sometimes be the hardest. I heard a lady saying that she had prayed about washing/laundry, as she found it so hard to keep on top of. She said, "Yes, I actually prayed about laundry!" It may seem a silly thing to pray about, but God has solutions to all our little problems as well as our big ones. It makes such a difference when we pray about everything.

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; Tell God your needs and don't forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.

Fear Not...but Why Not??

The last few months I've been having a bit of a battle with fear. I am not a relaxed easy going person, and I get worried and stressed very easily.
So I've been looking in the Bible to see what it says about fear. Being fearful is an awful thing and I don't want to be like that. I have been reading through the Psalms, and with my children we are reading the story of David's life at the moment. Surely David faced a lot of fear. Having the king chasing you because he wants to kill you. Having to hide and run for your life.
I wrote down in my journal what David said about fear in Psalm 23. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;..."
He also said in Psalm 56
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.
In God have I put my trust; I will not be afraid what man can do unto me."
I started looking up verses all over the Bible that talk about fear, and I was fascinated to see that they nearly all basically say the same thing. They don't just say Fear not. That really wouldn't be helpful. They nearly all say Fear not;...  But they don't say "Fear not; for worry is a waste of time." "Fear not; for worry is bad for your health." "Fear not; for worry never helped anyone." "Fear not; it's not that bad." "Fear not, it could be worse." "Fear not; you can handle it."
What do they say?
Isaiah 41:10 says "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; year, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
and verse 13 "For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee."
What did God say to Joshua? "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
Joel 2:21 says "Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the LORD will do great things."
There are tons of verses like this. Fear not; for God is with  you. Fear not; for God will help you. That is why we don't need to be afraid. David had the same answer. When I'm afraid, I trust in God.
God's presence and help is the answer.
In Matthew 6:25-34 God tells us not to worry about what we will eat, drink or wear. Does it say why? Yes, for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. He promises to provide for our needs. That is why we don't need to worry.
In Hebrews 13: 5 we are told to be content with the things we have. Does it say why? Yes, for he hath said, I will never leave thee, not forsake thee.
I don't know about you, but I tend to trust in other things than God. When I was fearful about my health, I had the thought, if the doctor can just check me, I don't need to be afraid. If I could just get all better, I won't need to be afraid. A panicky kind of fear.
Although, we can/should use the doctors God has provided for us, they are not the answer to our fears. My trust should be in God not in a doctor. My trust shouldn't be in my health, or in a steady income or in whatever else we naturally trust in. In the Bible verses I found, faith in God is what we need.
Another thing I've found helpful is to ask myself why I am fearful and to remind myself of the truth.
This is what I wrote in my journal about a week ago just after I had been back to the doctor again.

 Why am i fearful?
*I'm fearful of causing an accident because of my dizziness
*I'm fearful that I have something more serious that the doctor hasn't picked up. (an underlying condition)

Truth/Facts
*I am not anemic anymore (I had just found out that my iron levels were way better; it was low blood pressure that was making me still feel dizzy)
*I was very low in iron when I had my bad experience in the car--I am not still like that. I shouldn't get that dizzy again.
*I have low blood pressure which is making me feel dizzy
*The doctor is not worried about me
*I am usually lowish in iron and have low blood pressure anyway--it's nothing new, just worse than usual
*The doctor thinks the anemia is just from blood loss
*God knows the whole situation
*It's all in God's hands
*It's all working together for my good.
*Most likely it will soon be a distant memory. It will pass

Even if the truth is not good, like if we do have a serious sickness, etc. there are always the truths of God's promises we can remind ourselves of.
Are you fearful? You are definitely not alone.  But I hope you can find some encouragement in this post .

All and Everything

What problems do you pray about? The big ones? The little ones? Or just the medium sized ones?
Yesterday I took Lydia to a hearing appointment. She has mild hearing loss and uses hearing aids. For the last few months we've had a break from appointments, but this month, there is three, all in different places. Yesterday was the first one, at a place I've never been before. But it turned out to be a waste of time. The audiologist had a look in Lydia's ears and told me she couldn't do the hearing test because of all the wax. She said to make an appointment to get her ears cleaned out and then come back again. So now five appointments instead of three! I was a little annoyed, especially because I already knew beforehand that Lydia has wax in her ears-- she always does! But as I thought about it more, I felt uncomfortable about booking the appointment. It's complicated to explain, but Lydia has never had her ears cleaned out before in spite of all the wax. She was going to get put to sleep once in hospital to get them cleaned out, but they thought it was too risky. Also, this audiologist knows nothing about Lydia or her history. So I'm not sure I can just go get her ears cleaned out. When I told my husband in the evening, he had the same question mark. He told me to find out whether she should or not. Also, since one of the upcoming appointments is with the hearing people she usually goes to, I'm not sure whether this other hearing test is necessary or not. So lots of questions, but getting an answer is often complicated too. You can't just ring up the hospital and speak to the right person. So I started to feel stressed by it all. Then I realized I should pray about it. Why was it hours later I realized that?
I did have an email address from an audiologist who knows Lydia, so I sent her an email with my questions and concerns. Hopefully I will get an answer!
But it made me realize that there are a lot of things that I don't pray about, and yet they bother me and affect me.
Somehow praying about little things can seem unnecessary or insignificant.
Praying about big things can seem hopeless. I get upset easily about bad things that are happening in the world, or the knowledge of suffering people. Or the overwhelming amount of people who don't know Christ.
And yet I often just pray about the medium sized problems. But all of those things bother me.
Last night I was reminded of these two verses.

Casting ALL your care upon Him; for he careth for you.  1 Peter 5:7

Be anxious for NOTHING; but in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God. Philippians 4:6

If something is big enough to bother us, it's big enough to pray about. if something seems overwhelming hopeless, it is not bigger than God.
No problem is too big or too small to pray about.

A Limitless God

I have been reading through the book of Joshua. I'm not finished yet, but I have been fascinated with the different methods and ways God used to help the children of Israel. God had promised land to the Israelites, but there were many dangers and obstacles to overcome. These are the methods I've read about so far.
1. Rahab hiding the spies.
Two spies went to check out Jericho, but they were seen. The king sent men to find them at Rahab's house. But Rahab, a harlot of all people, hid them and helped them escape.
2. Crossing the river Jordan.
The Israelites needed to cross the river Jordan, but there was no way to cross. God told the priests to step into the water, and when they did, the water stopped flowing and there was  a path for them to go across.
3. Jericho.
In the battle of Jericho, God had a very unusual method. The Israelites were to march around the walls for 7 days, and on the 7th day they were to march around 7 times, then blow horns and shout. The walls would fall down flat, which they did! What a way to fight a battle!
4.The city of Ai.
They fought the city of Ai a completely different way. They set an ambush, which worked!
5. Five Kings of the Amorites.
The Israelites fought the Amorites, but God sent giant hailstones, and more people died from the hailstones than in battle. And then the sun stood still until the battle was won!

In all of these situations, there were four things Joshua and the Israelites needed.
1. A listening ear
They needed to be connected to God, and listening to what He had to say to them.
2. Obedience
They needed to obey whatever God said to do, even if it made no sense!
3. Faith
It took faith to believe God's promises and to obey Him.
4. Courage
God often told Joshua, Don't be afraid, be strong and of a good courage. They were scary situations. Dangerous situations. Joshua needed courage to obey God, even when he felt afraid.

War stories are not my favourite. I'm glad I didn't live in those days. But I do have my own battles which come in the form of trials and challenges. God is a creative God who works in many amazing ways. He works in ways we least expect or ways we've never seen before. We so easily limit Him. But no problem is too great for Him.
But we must be on His side--surrendered completely to Him, obeying His instructions and believing His promises. God will fight our battles for us, yet there will often be things we need to do. Instructions we need to follow. God doesn't do it all for us.
We need courage, to obey God even when we're afraid. Even when there may be danger and risks.

Why are Ye Fearful?

This is something I wrote down in my journal instead of on my blog last November when I was pregnant (before I miscarried), but no one knew yet so I couldn't share it. One of my favorite stories in the Bible is Jesus and the storm (Matthew 8:23-27). I often feel that I can relate to those disciples! So what I wrote then often comes back to me in different situations.

10/Nov 2018
Being pregnant, I find it extra difficult to cope.
I am afraid of not being able to cope in pregnancy and with a new baby. I feel like it's too hard--that it's over my limit. I am afraid.
This verse came to me today when I was feeling afraid and overwhelmed.

"Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?"

WHY am I afraid?

*Because I don't believe that I can cope with more than I already have.
*Because after Lydia, I am aware of all the difficulties a new baby could bring.
*Because I feel like I am drowning-that I will perish in the waves of appointment, shopping lists, demands, to do lists, challenges that come with Lydia, housework, cooking, etc. while I have a body that feels tired and unwell.

WHY should I NOT be afraid?

*Jesus is in my 'boat'.
  Even if I'm alone, I'm not really alone. God is always with me. "Fear not: for I am with thee." Isaiah 41:10

*God is my helper.
I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not: I will help thee. Isaiah 41:13

*God understands.
He knows how we feel (sick, tired, etc.) He knows every difficulty.

*God cares.
"Casting all your cares upon him, for he careth for you." 1 Peter 5:7

*God is in control.
At times it may feel like God is not there, but He is. And He is in control no matter how bad the storm gets.

*God hears our cries for help.

*God has the power to calm the storm.
Even the winds and sea obey Him. God can help us in our circumstances-whether it's helping the children get along, have long sleeps, or to give us new energy.

* I will NOT drown.
"When thou passest through the water, I will be with thee, and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: Isaiah 43:2
No matter how full with water my boat may be, with God to help, I will NOT drown.

What are your fears? Have you ever asked yourself the question, Why am I fearful?
If you know God, the One who controls the wind and the waves is in your boat! Why are you afraid?

Around the Corner

Our future is unknown.  Even when we have it mapped out, there are always surprises around the corner. And not all nice ones! It is so easy to fear the future. What trials will come this year?
But trials are not the only thing around the corner.
Where there is rain, there will be beautiful rainbows. There will also be growth. When night time comes, we enjoy the stars. Where we find thorns, we usually find roses.
I read a quote the other day. It went something like this.

Blessed is night, for it reveals to us the stars.

Blessed is sorrow, for it reveals to us God's comfort.

There may be trials coming this year. But there will also be beautiful blessings, joy and laughter.
Why waste time living in  fear of the future, when we could be looking forward to the joys and blessings?
Instead of wondering what difficulties are around the corner, I choose to wonder what happy surprises may be around the corner!

Hope for the Future

We are nearly at the end of week three of recovery from our second miscarriage. Now that I am physically feeling better, I have had lots of fear to deal with. Fear of the future, fear of another miscarriage etc. Although we know we shouldn't fear the future, it is very difficult not to do sometimes. Tonight I was reading through my prayer journal and found these words that I wrote down over a year ago. They were very encouraging to me.

Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life in fear. Rather look at them with full hope that, as they arise, God, whose You are, will deliver you out of them. He has kept you hitherto; do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all things; and when you cannot stand, He will bear you in His arms.
Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow. The same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow, and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, then, put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.  
    ~Francis de Sales

We Don't Know But God Does

(I share this experience partly for my own remembrance, but also because God's goodness is worth sharing! And I can't share God's goodness to me without sharing the experience.)
This week has been a tough one. At 11 weeks pregnant I started to have some warning signs of miscarriage. It started on Saturday night, but it wasn't till Monday afternoon at the ultrasound that we found out for sure that our baby had passed away. Up until the scan I really didn't know if it was miscarriage or not. Even my midwife thoughts the signs weren't convincing enough to definitely be miscarriage. The morning of the scan I tried to decide whether I should tell my mum about it. It was possible everything was fine and nothing to worry about it. I really didn't know. One minute I was worried, the next minute I wasn't. But I texted her anyway and told her the concerns and asked her to pray for us. She told me that if it was needed she was free to come and stay to help with the children this week. That afternoon we found out our baby had passed away 21/2 weeks ago already. I thought about mum's offer but didn't know what to say. I would love to have her, but I didn't know if I felt up to visitors staying in my house. So I didn't say anything. That night my Dad rang and said that Mum was coming down the next day and was going to stay at a little holiday place in our town. Wow! I could have both! My mum and my own space!
While my mum was on her way down the next day, the pain started. Up until then, I had no pain. (Also, my last miscarriage had been pain free.) The pain wasn't bad at first, just uncomfortable. The next morning I was feeling pretty good and I enjoyed some time with my mum and little sister. Mum planned to look after the children all afternoon at the holiday house so I could have a sleep and a quiet afternoon. But a sleep was not possible! After lunch the intense pains started. For about 3 hours I had the worst pain I've ever experienced. Since I've had c-sections I had no clue what labour pains are like and thought I never would. Never say never!! That afternoon I had a good taste. I'm sure real labor must be much worse, but on the other hand it felt so unbearable I don't know how it could be worse!! I was so glad everyone was out of the house. And I was especially glad my mum was there to look after the children. I could barely manage myself, how in the world would I have looked after children? I thought the worst must be over, but the next morning I woke up at 3 to the intense pains again. 
I had no clue that it would be like this. Also, my Mum had no idea that miscarriage could be like this. It really amazes me how it all worked out for her to come down, when neither of us knew how much I needed her!
Thismorning I woke up early to light pain which prevented me sleeping. So I got up and had some quiet time. I was reading a poem in a devotion book and the last part really hit me.

And One said mildly: "Why, indeed,

Take over-anxious thought for that

The morrow bringeth! See you not 

The Father knoweth what you need?"

I love the verse in Matthew 6:32"...for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have  need of all these things." It has helped me before. But this week has been another reminder of how true it is.

God doesn't promise that we will have no needs. But He promises that He knows our needs. Even when we don't know them ourselves. And He promises that if we put Him first, He will take care of our needs.

It's also a reminder of how much wisdom we lack. We often don't know the best thing to do or what we will need. That's why we need to pray often for wisdom for God truly does know what we need. We can't afford to make decisions without His wisdom.

Clean or Dirty?

Yesterday morning our washing machine stopped working. When my husband came home from work he pulled it out so he could have a look. He didn't find out what was wrong with it, but we did find a disgusting mess behind it. Mouse droppings, old cloths, spiderwebs, and a lot of dirt. Johan left the washing machine pulled out so I could clean it.
As I cleaned up the awful mess today, I realized that our lives are like that washing machine space. When everything is going well and as it should be, we appear to be doing well too. Just as when my washing machine was in its place, everything appeared clean.
 But then something is moved or lost (either temporarily or permanently) as my washing machine was.Things we depend on, need or want.
 Maybe it's our health, our sleep, our time, our energy, money, broken appliances that we depend on, a car that doesn't work, a sick child, our home, normal life, a busy husband etc. 
Then we see the dirt--the ugly resentment, bitterness, greed, covetousness, unkindness, envy, anger, selfishness, impatience, fear, worry, unbelief and so on. 
It can be discouraging to realize just how 'dirty' we are! We can feel like we are going backwards instead of forwards.
But that space behind my washing machine is not dirty anymore. I gave it a good clean and it is looking nice again. If the washing machine had not broken, it wouldn't have gotten cleaned. (Maybe I should clean behind things like that more often, but I don't!!)
And I don't need to despair about my own 'dirtiness' either. I can be thankful that I have become aware of it, and I can confess it to God. He has promised to forgive and cleanse me.
Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalms 51:2 and 10

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9