After months of spending a lot of time focusing on our special needs daughter and about to start focusing on potty training our two year old aswell, I felt like I needed a bit of help catching up with the deep cleaning. The list was getting long. I thought it all through before mentioning it to my husband. Instead of asking someone I knew, I wanted to pay a cleaner to do the work. I had in my mind exactly what I wanted, then I asked my husband.He thought about it for a minute and looked at the calendar. He asked what kind of jobs I wanted done. Then he said, “I have two days off over New Year. I can do it for you!”
I am ashamed to admit my first reaction was annoyance and frustration. I thought, “You are just as busy as me. I already need your help with the basics! This is not what I had in mind. This is not what I planned. Forget that I asked.”
But of course I couldn’t tell him that. How could I turn his offer down?
Thankfully as I thought about it some more, the light came on and in an instance I got a major attitude adjustment.
I remembered that acts of service is one of my husband’s most important love languages. For him to make the offer was showing love. I realized that he was offering to give up his two days off to do woman’s work—my work. How kind is that?
Suddenly the deep cleaning didn’t matter anymore and I didn’t care if it ever got done. What mattered was that I had a very caring and unselfish husband!
I then realized that there have been other instances like this in the past where I have continued being annoyed instead of realizing the kindness and thought behind the suggestions that didn’t fit in with my plans. I felt very ashamed but thankful that this time I realized what was truly important.
And guess what? Over New Year he cleaned, organized and decluttered my pantry from top to bottom as well as other kitchen cupboards and drawers! So now I have a clean and orderly kitchen and I appreciate my husband much more!
I can be so blinded sometimes by my own selfishness and self-centeredness to what is really important. What about you?