These are three lessons I am learning that are making me a happier wife!
Focus on the positive.
I heard of a man who kept a little book and wrote his wife's faults and failures in it! Isn't that horrible? And yet, as we are naturally so self-focused, it is so easy to focus on the negative rather than on all the positives.
It's good to write down or at least think of things that you are thankful for about your husband every day. Make it a habit to notice every positive thing about him and thank God for it. It's amazing what a difference it can make to your attitude! You will probably realize you are married to the best man in the world! :)
Listen to him.
Does your husband make comments about what he does or doesn't like? Maybe foods he would like you to buy, or meals he doesn't like, or clothes you or the children wear that he doesn't like. Does he mention things that would like you to do?
Listen and pay attention to his wishes. Do your best to please him, instead of making excuses why you shouldn't. Unless, of course, his wishes are clearly wrong. It's not always possible or realistic to do what he wants, but most of the time it is, although it may call for some unselfishness on your part! But you will be happy, knowing that you are honoring the man God gave you.
Learn to appreciate his way of showing love (love language).
My husband shows his love in different ways to me. Words of affirmation are very important to me, while they don't mean a whole lot to him. Acts of service and gifts are more important to him. So there are many times I have been offended because of what he has or hasn't said to me, and yet he might have spent the afternoon making me dinner or he brought us some treats on his way home.
Its easy to feel unloved when your husband shows love in a different way to you. But it's unnecessary.
As I am learning, you can either spend your life wishing he would become more like you, or you can look for and appreciate the ways that he shows love.
I read this the other day and it made me stop and think. It was written for men and it was about marriage. She won’t always readily translate the oil change to love, though it means that.
Something like an oil change can mean the same as the words "I love you" or a box of chocolate, or a bunch of flowers, or a night out at a restaurant etc!