This is a post that I have been thinking about for quite a while and couldn't decide whether to go ahead and write it or not! I guess it's because everyone's situation is different and I am only learning myself. I am no pro! But I'm also not how I was five months ago.
For the last five months, my husband has been working on an important project that has gobbled up most of his spare time. Before he started it, he was mostly home in time for dinner, nearly always helped in the evenings with putting the children to bed or washing the dishes and didn't often go out. Yes, I know--I have a great husband! So when he started this project, things changed! I found it difficult and sometimes had a pretty rotten attitude. Since many wives have busy husbands, I would like to share a few things that have helped me.
1) Think about women who see even less of their husbands.
In those first few months I read two books. The first one was Brother Andrew (a story about a man who smuggled Bibles behind the Iron Curtain). He lived in Holland but traveled often. His wife sometimes didn't see him for weeks at a time. That was simply a cost they had to consider before getting married. Reading that book made me thankful that although my husband is very busy, I see him every day!
Another book I read was about the Bunyan family (John Bunyan was in prison for many years for preaching). Reading this book made me thankful that my husband is living with us and not in prison!
Whatever our situation is, there are always other women who have it more difficult. It always gives me an attitude adjustment to think or read about them!
2) Be thankful.
Count the hours you do have together, not the hours you don't. Count all the things you have to be thankful for and it will help you have a good attitude.
3)Make the most of the time you Do have.
If you have a complaining attitude, you probably won't even enjoy the time you do have with your husband. You may not have much time, but you can make it quality time with a bit of effort on your part. When my husband is home late for dinner, I try to stop what I'm doing and sit down with him and spend that time together.
4) Learn to be more independent.
My husband doesn't have the time at the moment to do some things he usually does, so I have to try and do them myself. Just because I don't usually do them, doesn't mean I can't! Learn to be more dependent on God.
5)Learn to manage your home better.
Over the last 5 months, as I've shared in other posts, I've really worked at decluttering our house. I've also learned different ways of simplifying and made some new habits. I think it is a mixture of these things and maybe a few others that has helped me have a whole lot more time! I simply don't need my husband's help like I did in the beginning.
6) Free your husband up as much as you can.
I am already busier having a busy husband, but I have tried to free him up as much as I can. For example, in the beginning he tried to quickly wash the dishes every night before he started working. I told him not to bother or he would be busy every moment of the day! It takes a bit of sacrifice on our part, but helping our husband is an important ministry.
7) Make your home a nice place for him to come home to.
This is a difficult one some days. Especially hot exhausting days! And I am not naturally a relaxed person! Sometimes everything turns to custard right before he comes home. But it is my goal to make our home a nice, clean and relaxing place for my husband to come home to. He will want to be home more if home is a pleasant place to be! It is difficult with little children and especially when you are extra busy, but is a good goal to keep in mind.
Pray for your husband and pray for God's help and strength for you. Sometimes having a busy husband forces us to be more dependent on God. Now, that's a good thing!
9) Accept it.
Fighting something just makes it worse. Remember that quote I shared ..."The impatient horse which will not quietly endure his halter only strangles himself in his stalls!" There is a lot of truth in that. Sometimes we can change our situation, but in my case I can't. It's simply something I have to accept.
10) Remember, it's just for a season.
In my situation, at least, the busyness of this project will end soon-- to a certain degree. It won't last forever!