This is something I wrote down in my journal instead of on my blog last November when I was pregnant (before I miscarried), but no one knew yet so I couldn't share it. One of my favorite stories in the Bible is Jesus and the storm (Matthew 8:23-27). I often feel that I can relate to those disciples! So what I wrote then often comes back to me in different situations.
10/Nov 2018
Being pregnant, I find it extra difficult to cope.
I am afraid of not being able to cope in pregnancy and with a new baby. I feel like it's too hard--that it's over my limit. I am afraid.
This verse came to me today when I was feeling afraid and overwhelmed.
"Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?"
WHY am I afraid?
*Because I don't believe that I can cope with more than I already have.
*Because after Lydia, I am aware of all the difficulties a new baby could bring.
*Because I feel like I am drowning-that I will perish in the waves of appointment, shopping lists, demands, to do lists, challenges that come with Lydia, housework, cooking, etc. while I have a body that feels tired and unwell.
WHY should I NOT be afraid?
*Jesus is in my 'boat'.
Even if I'm alone, I'm not really alone. God is always with me. "Fear not: for I am with thee." Isaiah 41:10
*God is my helper.
I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not: I will help thee. Isaiah 41:13
*God understands.
He knows how we feel (sick, tired, etc.) He knows every difficulty.
*God cares.
"Casting all your cares upon him, for he careth for you." 1 Peter 5:7
*God is in control.
At times it may feel like God is not there, but He is. And He is in control no matter how bad the storm gets.
*God hears our cries for help.
*God has the power to calm the storm.
Even the winds and sea obey Him. God can help us in our circumstances-whether it's helping the children get along, have long sleeps, or to give us new energy.
* I will NOT drown.
"When thou passest through the water, I will be with thee, and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: Isaiah 43:2
No matter how full with water my boat may be, with God to help, I will NOT drown.
What are your fears? Have you ever asked yourself the question, Why am I fearful?
If you know God, the One who controls the wind and the waves is in your boat! Why are you afraid?
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