Yesterday I had to sign another consent form for our baby. She is having a procedure for her heart today. Over the months I have had to sign many consent forms--every time she has needed an anaesthetic. I don't have a problem signing them. My attitude towards the doctors is "Just do what you need to do." I have told them that many times. The doctors know far more than I do. Even though I know they are human and could make a mistake, I trust them to do what they know is best.
There are other people I know here who find it difficult to trust the doctors because of different reasons. I'm not like that. I don't know if its a good or a bad thing, but it sure saves me a lot of frustration and worry!
Last night I was praying about Lydia's procedure. As I thought about how to pray, it struck me that I trust the doctors more than I trust God.
I say to the doctors, "Just do whatever you need to do," because I know they will do their best for Lydia.
And yet when I pray, I am very hesitant to pray that. Instead I would rather pray for what I want, which doesn't include trials!
Shouldn't I be able to pray the same thing? "Just do whatever you have to do, Lord. You know far better than me or the doctors. You know what's best. I trust You."
I felt convicted and ashamed.
God can't make mistakes like the doctors can. His wisdom is so great. He loves us so much and has our best interests in mind.
Why then do I find it so hard to pray that prayer? I decided that it is because I naturally want a trouble free life. I know that if I tell God to just do what is best, God's best may not be what I want. I'm really saying, "If I need troubles, give them to me. I consent." For God to do His best work in my life, there are going to be many trials. If I want God to use me, it's not going to come on a silver platter. It's going to hurt! He is going to have to make me usable!
God does want us to be specific when we pray and tell Him our desires, and He doesn't need our consent to do anything. But I'm sure He wants us to have the same attitude of trust that I have toward the doctors. "Go ahead, Lord. Do whatever You have to do. You know what's best."
I pray He will help me with that, and that you may learn the same lesson.